Sunday, January 11, 2009

Golden Globe Fashion Review

The fashion is the only reason to watch this. Why do the tables at the Golden Globes make it feel so awkward. Are they actually eating? Anyway... I'm going to try to sum up what I've seen so far in five words or less (and before the fashion reviews taint any of my opinions). Unfortunately, I missed all but 10 minutes of the pre-show so I missed most of these walking. Not sure how successful I'll be. I just changed the rules and decided a follow-up explanation is allowed.

Soccer mom goes golden globes.
I know it's to be expected from Maggie, but still appalling. This print is kindergarten teacher. But even worse is the shoes - they look like sensible sandals peeking out - like those made with straps made out of wide elastic? The horror.

Cheap whore and skeletor (that rhymes).
It really amuses me that the tabloids call him Skeletor. Low-cut, backless and shiny gold = cheap. Nuff said.

This reminds me of the dresses we wore in high school with a white tee underneath. Soooo boring.

I die (but not in the good way).
As far as I'm concerned Rachel Zoe can do no wrong...unless she style Anne for the Golden Globes. Not feeling it.

So close.
Why have we not yet learned that giant, random appendages ruin a dress (did you forget about Charlize's bow?) It might have been a gorgeous look and a standout in white without the gobs of extra material.

Oh come on. If you want people talking, you'll have it. Floaty, ethereal BABY BLUE in an 80s pattern with the "expected-unexpected" blood-red clutch? No words for the hair. No words. I am shaking my head sadly for her.

Missing the glamour.
There just isn't any to this look. Too casual print, too casual pose. Meh. And look at the dude in the background. He apparently isn't feeling it either.

Not memorable, but beautiful.
She's just gorgeous and this dress fits her body just perfectly. Five days from now I'll have forgotten this dress, but I thought she looked beautiful.

Channeling Mimi!
A bit too Mariah Carey/Little Mermaid for me.

Shut the Front Door
I am SHOCKED to be saying this myself, but my best-dressed of the photos I've seen is hands-down Rumer "tater-head" Willis! Her of desperate celebrity clinging, PLEASE LOOK AT ME, I'm a CELEBrity (please, please take my picture I want it so bad!) I have always been amazed at how two very good looking people could produce children who were so...not...but I think Rumer looked GORGEOUS! Beautiful color, beautiful gown, beautiful styling. For this, I die (and about did when I realized it was her in it).

Also loved Amy Adams, Eva Longoria Parker loved the color, not the dress (though loved the fit), did NOT like the Slumdog millionaire's curry dress (which somehow felt contrived and was such a shame because she's SO gorgeous), thought Angie's dress was unflattering (though didn't see it move), hated Debra Messing's 90s halter. nice to just be able to sit on the couch and judge!


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